What is behind TikTok trends such as girl math and girl dinner?
Don’t feel like cooking? Throw some leftovers on a platter and you’ve got yourself a complete girl dinner. And want to be a little more sensible with your money? If we are to believe the girl math trend, young women are not very skilled at this. At first glance, it seems like ironic self-deprecation, but what is really behind the rise of this kind of phenomenon? This question will be answered during the Girl Online symposium this Friday at Spui25.
According to author and head of Research & Development at the British publishing house Urbanomic, Maya B. Kronic, one of the speakers at Friday’s conference, the central figure of the online girl, from whom the symposium takes its name, is linked to the early days of the internet. “There was a kind of cyberfeminism at the time, which recognised that women have a certain affinity with technology. The internet was created by men out of a need to make the world controllable, but just as there has been a fear throughout history that women would gain too much power, there is also a fear about the increasing power of technology. So there is a shared subordinate position there.”
“The stereotypical girl is often thought of in a condescending way,” Kronic explains. “She is seen as childish, dependent, superficial and interested in unimportant things. This makes the girl an intriguing figure who, in the context of social media, has become somewhat detached from the female gender and has taken on a role that can be assumed by anyone.” And that is where phenomena such as girl math and girl dinner come into play. These are trends that could be seen as infantilising women, but according to Kronic, should rather be interpreted as a form of rebellion and emancipation, through which young women create their own narrative. “In doing so, they create their own world, in which the social order that dictates that you must always be sensible, composed and productive is rejected.”
Vulnerability
According to Kronic, this would eliminate the shame that has long been used to suppress and ridicule stereotypical girly traits. “Social media has a liberating effect. The girly elements of our character that not everyone dares to show offline are accepted there. Everyone has those qualities; no one is always serious. In online girlhood, we share our vulnerability and our inability to always meet social standards.”
And when such an expression of vulnerability is interpreted negatively by misogynistic outsiders, Kronic believes that this is primarily their own problem. “That is not the responsibility of the person who posted it. Negative stereotypes about women will always exist, but that’s no reason for self-censorship. It’s actually a strength to use these female images in a way that brings joy, rather than suffering.”
Good Girl
The role of femininity on the internet will be examined during the symposium, not only on an academic level, but also in an artistic way. Visual artist and performance artist Mireille Tap will make an appearance during the evening programme. During her twelve-minute act entitled Good Girl, Tap advocates the power of everything that is cute, sweet, soft and harmless. “During the performance, I use a sculpture as a sound instrument, making soft, sweet sounds with charms, sound tubes and a microphone. In doing so, I emphasise the powerful effect of cuteness and softness. By presenting yourself as harmless, you can seduce people into coming closer, only to hold them captive once they do. Like a flower that looks beautiful from a distance, but when you get too close, you get stuck on a thorn.”
At the same time, the work contains a reference to the night Tap’s dog died. “I felt guilty that I couldn’t protect her from death. What else could I have done? Maybe if I had been kinder, even more obedient, my “prayers” would have been answered. After all, women and dogs are expected to listen and obey: Good Girl. With the soft sounds I make during the performance, I lull my dying dog and at the same time seduce the audience into participating in this seemingly comforting event. Then I appear to have trapped them to witness a painful dying process.”
The full-day symposium Girl Online is organised by The Hmm and starts on Friday 16 May at 2 p.m. at Spui25. The programme includes workshops, lectures, panel discussions and performances. Tickets are still available.
And that is precisely the key point. The gentle appearance of online girlhood, with its dreamy imagery, soft voices, and embrace of everything girly, is also a source of strength, Tap argues. “We live in a male-designed world, in which there is little room for girly things. But it is precisely with phenomena such as girl math and girl dinner that we leave that world behind and create our own rules, in which women turn existing stereotypes to their advantage.” She emphasises the connection she feels with other feminist artists. “Women like Lily van der Stokker and Kinke Kooi, who don’t apologise for their softness and emotions, but use them instead, are people I recognise and connect with. Softness has long been dismissed as frivolous, even though it is so comforting, and everyone has a desire to embrace it unashamedly.”
