Chinese students in the Netherlands under pressure to uphold family reputation
What if your choice of study not only determines your future, but also your family’s honor? Research shows that Chinese students deal with upholding their family's reputation when they decide to study abroad, including in the Netherlands. A Chinese professor, researcher and student provide a glimpse behind the (Chinese) scenes.
“Law, medicine, finance or becoming a teacher, those were the four paths I was allowed to follow by my father,” says the Chinese Rachel* (not her real name), who is now doing her doctorate in social sciences at the University of Amsterdam. “There was pressure to choose one of these disciplines. I didn’t want to do that, so I looked for a workaround. The ‘sugarcoating’ of studying abroad gave me more freedom to choose the study program I wanted.
Rachel’s personal experience illustrates a broader phenomenon that is often overlooked: the invisible pressure of family expectations on Chinese students in the Netherlands. The role that family plays in the decision of Chinese students to study abroad is underexposed, argues Maggi Leung, professor of international development studies at the UvA, in a recent publication. This makes the decision to study abroad anything but simple — as Rachel’s story also shows.
According to researcher Maggi Leung, many Chinese people initially see Europe as a single entity before they ‘discover’ the Netherlands. “Only when they look further do they find out that you can also study English-language programs in the Netherlands. You can also get by in the Netherlands with English without speaking Dutch, while in Germany, for example, you really have to be able to speak German. In addition, the Netherlands is cheaper to study in than, for example, the United Kingdom or the United States. And the Netherlands is also known as an open society.”
Family is your most immediate collective
How great is the influence of family members on Chinese students who come to study at the UvA tens of thousands of kilometers from home? And what does that influence consist of?
Many young Chinese people want to study abroad, says Leung, the so-called ‘study-abroad fever’. And they did just that. When the strict Chinese COVID regulations were lifted, many Chinese students went abroad to study again, and many went to the Netherlands. In the post-Corona 2023-2024 academic year, there were 23 percent more Chinese students studying in the Netherlands than in the previous year – the largest growth in almost twenty years.
So why do they want to go abroad so badly? “The students are mostly longing for adventure, especially now that China is more connected to the rest of the world,” says Leung. “Young people in China, but really everywhere, want good jobs, to learn more and to experience a different lifestyle.”
Although many of the reasons for wanting to study abroad are the same as those of Dutch students, there is one important difference: “In Europe, family is also important, but in East Asian cultures it carries more weight due to, among others, the influence of Confucianism. Within this philosophy and ideology, respect and obedience to your family is very important. In fact, the family is seen as the basis for harmony in society as a whole. Leung: 'Individualism is seen as something bad in China. People should act and think more collectively, and the most immediate collective you have is your family.”
Downside
One of the findings of Leung’s research is about ‘mianzi’ (面子), which means something like ‘face’. It is, for example, used to describe the reputation and honor of families. Leung: “In China, you are not only responsible for your own reputation, but also that of your family, especially your parents. If you can say that your son or daughter is studying in Europe, it gives the family a positive image. If you are successful, you are not only proud of yourself, but you also bring pride to your family.”
The downside of studying abroad for Chinese students is deeply rooted in the concept of mianzi, which revolves around pride and honor, but can also be a heavy burden. Leung explains this: “Students may feel they have to work extra hard if their parents have made it possible that they can study abroad. If you don't get good grades, you get extra stressed. They feel pressure from home and academic performance pressure at the same time.”
China has a great diversity among its people and that influences how strongly family reputation weighs on students, says Leung. “In China, the middle class has grown in recent years. The lower middle class can sometimes barely afford their ticket abroad, while wealthier parents can buy a house for their child abroad. If, for example, your parents have to borrow money for your studies, the pressure to perform is a lot greater. For people who have more to lose, mianzi may be more important,” speculates Leung.
To go back or not
The pressure on young Chinese people has also been increased by the ‘one-child policy’, which made having a second child a criminal offense between 1979 and 2015. According to Leung, this policy has a major impact on what that one child means to the family. “Sometimes there is only one child for two sets of grandparents or even great-grandparents.” This causes parents to become strongly attached to their only child. “Many of these children therefore feel a great responsibility, especially because they cannot share it with brothers or sisters, and this will influence the choice of whether Chinese graduates return to their families, for example.”
Although Rachel is not an only child, she recognizes the moral obligations that every child learns from their parents. In China this is called ‘xiao’ (孝), Rachel says, which refers to showing respect to the older generations, including submission, care and sometimes affection. “In reality, this remains performative and brings pressure, which I dislike. I am expected to be a good daughter to my parents and grandparents and to take care of a lot of things for them. I have a busy life in Amsterdam, so it’s not easy. I don’t want to move back to China because I don’t like living there.”
“Students weigh the possibilities of working abroad against the pull of family in China,” says researcher Yanbo Hao. Together with Leung, he researched the experiences of Chinese students in Amsterdam and the influence of the Chinese family on the decision to stay in Amsterdam. Hao explains that his research showed that students often had to convince their parents that they wanted to continue living in the Netherlands. “One student did not feel his parents supported his decision to continue living in the Netherlands, so he manipulated them by showing them how great his life in the Netherlands was so that they would support his choice.”
Nevertheless, some things have changed in China as well. In the past, there was greater pressure on students to return to China to take care of their parents. Now this is less the case: “Because there is now better insurance for elderly care in China, there is less need to take care of your parents yourself,” says Leung.
Sometimes people choose to bring their parents to the Netherlands or even to another country. “And besides, what exactly does it mean to return? A Chinese student who graduated in the Netherlands moved with his parents to Singapore – close enough for them, but international enough for him,” says Leung.
Researcher Hao chose to stay in the Netherlands after completing his studies, even though his parents asked him to return. “When I was unemployed after finishing my studies, my parents tried to persuade me to come back to China by telling me how good China could be. Once I had found work in the Netherlands, they saw how well I was paid and the reputation of my company. Now they brag about it to others.”
How do you deal with the pressure from your parents who, on the other side of the world, might judge your study choices? Hao is level-headed about it: “There are no right or wrong decisions. You just have to make sense of your own life.” For many Chinese students, the choice between family and independence is a constant balancing act. “And ultimately, where exactly that balance lies differs per person.”
*Rachel is a fictitious name: her real name is known by the editorial board.
