‘The Right Is Ruining Our Sex’: UvA alumnus Daan Borrel wrote a book about sex and politics
For UvA alumnus Daan Borrel, it is clear: sex is political. In her new book Rechts verpest onze seks (“The Right Is Ruining Our Sex”), she explains the impact neoliberal and conservative policies have on intimacy and argues that the choice you make in the voting booth may be more important for a better sex life than a new set of lingerie.
‘The Right Is Ruining Our Sex’ is a striking title. How did you come up with the idea to write about the political right and our sex lives?
“I noticed that a lot has been happening in the realm of sex. Lately you hear a lot about sex recessions and sexual fatigue, but also about incels, goonersTerm from internet culture for people who watch pornography for long periods obsessively., and women who no longer want to date. From that, you can tell there is a great deal of sexual dissatisfaction. At the same time, you could argue that internationally – and certainly in the Netherlands – there has been a significant shift to the right. And then I thought: could it be that politics has much more to do with that sexual dissatisfaction than we all assume?”
Daan Borrel (35) studied Literary Studies at the University of Amsterdam. Since then, she has been writing and publishing about sexuality, intimacy, and sensuality. In 2018, her book Soms is liefde dit, a letter about body, sex, and desire, was published. Her debut novel De dragers came out last year.
Rechts verpest onze seks will be published on February 24.
Judging by that title, it does.
“Definitely. And it already starts with the way we look at sex and intimacy. Sexuality is often still seen as something individual, something you have to work on yourself. I’ve written about sex that way before. But I’m noticing that there are so many factors that lie outside yourself. For a good sex life, it’s first of all important that you feel good. The step toward enjoyable sex is simply much bigger when you’re not feeling well in your own skin.”
And that’s political?
“When I look at why people increasingly don’t feel good in their own skin, I very quickly end up at political policy. At all those Rutte cabinets, neoliberalism, capitalism. Moreover, they’re all driven by the same idea: that you are responsible for your own happiness.”
Isn’t that true?
“I often compare it to the environmental problem. I grew up in the 1990s, and for a long time there was the slogan ‘A better environment starts with yourself.’ But at some point everyone realized that’s not entirely true: as long as Tata Steel doesn’t do anything about its emissions, it doesn’t really matter whether you separate your waste or not. In that sense, it really starts with different policies. I think that when it comes to our sex lives, there is also a much greater collective – and therefore political – responsibility.”
What right-wing policies negatively affect our sex lives?
“There are many examples. It’s mainly about policies that make life more expensive and ensure that social meeting places become inaccessible. Take festivals, for example. When I was studying, a festival like Lowlands was still truly affordable. Now it’s simply beyond the means of many people. The pub has become very expensive. Nightclubs and community centers are being replaced by pricey coffee bars. As a result, accessible places where bodies can come together are increasingly disappearing. That all stems from neoliberal politics.”
So how do we tackle this?
“With social and progressive policies! Think of free childcare, shorter workdays, free contraception. I always immediately think of Zohran Mamdani’s campaign in New York. The proposals he makes for a cheaper or more affordable life. Those are proposals that instantly make you feel more relaxed. And that, in turn, leads to more enjoyable sex.”
It sounds like New Yorkers have fun times ahead.
“Well, we’ll have to see. First you have to see whether all those plans actually get through. But there are indications. In my book I cite research by Kristen Ghodsee on East Germany. According to her, the much more social policies and the relatively equal gender balance there meant that people in the GDR had better sex than in West Germany.”
At the same time, you write that the right often has a sexy image.
“Yes, I found that interesting to notice. I think that has a lot to do with dominance. There’s often talk about right-wing men with left-wing girls – that that’s supposed to be a good combination. I think it’s because dominance can be attractive. People find it tempting when someone stands above another. That’s an image often associated with the right. But ultimately, that doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness or satisfying sex. It’s actually about being able to be vulnerable and feeling connection. Good sex is vulnerable.”
What do you hope people take away from the book?
“That they should vote left! But above all, I hope people come to realize that their sex life is not solely their own responsibility. That it’s not always useful to buy yet another book of tips, a different kind of lubricant, or a new set of lingerie. It’s important to understand everything that influences your sex life. That it might also have to do with how hard you have to work, how difficult it can be to make ends meet, or how hard it is to find housing. And that your sex life is therefore very political.”
